Twelve Days of Christmas

Composed in Inverie, Knoydart to celebrate Steve's completion of all the Munros.

On the nth day of Christmas, Steve's true love sent to him...

• A fat slag in Oscar's lavatory
• Two red GoreTex jackets
• Three trashed Transits
• Four broken cameras
• Five pineapple rings
• Six vowels extended
• Seven queens-a-dancing
• Eight years in Dundee
• Nine 21^st birthdays
• Ten coke and vodkas
• Eleven faffers following
• Two hundred and seventy seven Munros bagged

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